Week 10 solo dolo

During this last week of class the concept of dying and coping with it was discussed in both the book and in lecture nots. Kubler Ross's theory of coping with dying had five steps. The steps were the following in order: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Many people are not used to being around death and I am not sure if you would say anyone gets used to it either. I took the CNA class at BTC and part of the glass was doing clinical at a local nursing home. Here was really the first time I had ever been around a nursing home and was able to really grasp the concept that the majority of the people who were living there were also going to die there. 

During my 2 weeks there I was able to see this 5 step theory at work. One this I was most impressed/ surprised about was the amount of people who seemed to have already gone through the full five stages and were already at the final stage, acceptance. There were only 2 patients we worked with who were very obviously in the anger stage. The hardest to see in the nursing home and keep a uplifting attitude was depression. I only can really remember vividly one man who was in this stage. Sometimes he would seem okay, happy, normal; but most of the time he would mope around and look like all the joy in his life was sucked out of his body. 

This concept of dealing with death will be something I will be around my entire career as I work as a nurse. It will be something that I may see each stage come over a patient all the way to the end of their time. I think knowing this concept I can see how I can implement it with how I talk with patients and family members going through the grief process. 

Week 9

I am 24 years old. If I am luck I am a quarter of the way through my life. Possibly I am just a anxious person but they seems to completely freak me out. By freak out I mean every so often a wave rushes over my head, my temperature feels like it rises a few degrees and everything dilates. The odd thing is I believe that is the exact definition of the fight or flight response. I get this feeling from thinking about my own death and the death of my parents.

In the chapters we dealt with this concepts of growing older and what that in tales. I found the Integrity versus Despair concept very intriguing due to my own reactions of dying and death. Erikson describes this concept as being the point in a person's later life where they reflect over their life and try to make sense of it. These thoughts are also balanced with the idea that your life will live on through your family, grandkids etc. for years to come. Since I have yet to have a family of my own that I could see my life living through I get stuck on the death aspect and myself just ending and nothing to come. When I do a life review, the process of reflecting upon the events and experiences, I usually freak out a little because I know that there is not a ton that I have done for myself. The thought of dying right now not only would be tragic from a short life span but also from the fact that I do not feel like I current live life at the ultimate fullest. I have obviously not come to the point where I am at peace with all my decisions like Erikson discusses.

That was an approach to the topic from a internal/self relation. But when I think of my parents I fear more about loosing some of the people I talk to the most. Later in the chapter the book begins to discuss about sibling relationships. If my mother was one of my siblings I would put us in the sibling category of intimate sibling relationships. I would put my sister and I in the apathetic sibling relationship. This scares me a little as well, the thought of loosing my mom, a best friend. I would expect that my sister and I's relationship would then takeover and pick up. But it is sad that my sister and I are on  such a low level.

If I could ask the writers of this book for clarification I would ask about how relationships with siblings can change after the death of parents. Do they enhance (odd saying that) or are they slightly hindered if they aren't strong to begin with. This seemed like a little more of a journal write, but I think it is interesting how these types of subjects in our text always seem to hit home with many people in the class!

Week 8?

Letting go: Becoming Friends with your parents

I changed the title of the subject in the book because I think it is less of the parents allowing their children to be "friends" and more so the children allowing their parents to be their friends. I couldn't agree more with this chapter how there are still positive developments that can be make at this point. My parents and I were not exactly buddy buddy. Even after I left for college we weren't good friends. It wasn't until probably my sophomore year of college when my mom and I began accepting each other for who we were and being friends. Now, I think I talk to my mother more than I do any single other person other than my boyfriend, and even that at times it seams to surpass. My mother has become my best friend in a way. Someone I can always rely on and always be able to communicate what I am going through. That seems really great now but I wish I could of had that openness when I was younger and going through some serious identity issues.

Something I found a little entertaining is the discussion in this chapter on the distress of a child leaving home and entering into college or where ever they plan on going next. They stated in the book that many mothers report distress and negative mood when a child leaves the home but when the last child leaves only 25% of mothers and fathers report being very sad and unhappy. I laugh because I couldn't agree more! I was the last child so when my older sister left I too went to send her off to college. My mother cried and cried and cried the whole way. When I left she seemed to no think it a big deal. They did not discuss in the book possibilities of why there is this 25% not being upset. I think it could be (theory) that with the second children parents tend to be more lenient. This lenience may cause a child to be more adventure or get into more trouble. It may seem like a relief for the child to finally leave the house more than a sorrow. At least that is how I think it was for me. I was not a bad child but I definitely was not like my sister. Saying that sometimes I think that it has made my mom and I closer. When I got into trouble it forced my mother and father and I to discuss issues and discuss what was going on in my life. Since my sister never got in trouble I think that it is possible to say she doesn't have quite as close of a relationship.