I am 24 years old. If I am luck I am a quarter of the way through my life. Possibly I am just a anxious person but they seems to completely freak me out. By freak out I mean every so often a wave rushes over my head, my temperature feels like it rises a few degrees and everything dilates. The odd thing is I believe that is the exact definition of the fight or flight response. I get this feeling from thinking about my own death and the death of my parents.
In the chapters we dealt with this concepts of growing older and what that in tales. I found the Integrity versus Despair concept very intriguing due to my own reactions of dying and death. Erikson describes this concept as being the point in a person's later life where they reflect over their life and try to make sense of it. These thoughts are also balanced with the idea that your life will live on through your family, grandkids etc. for years to come. Since I have yet to have a family of my own that I could see my life living through I get stuck on the death aspect and myself just ending and nothing to come. When I do a life review, the process of reflecting upon the events and experiences, I usually freak out a little because I know that there is not a ton that I have done for myself. The thought of dying right now not only would be tragic from a short life span but also from the fact that I do not feel like I current live life at the ultimate fullest. I have obviously not come to the point where I am at peace with all my decisions like Erikson discusses.
That was an approach to the topic from a internal/self relation. But when I think of my parents I fear more about loosing some of the people I talk to the most. Later in the chapter the book begins to discuss about sibling relationships. If my mother was one of my siblings I would put us in the sibling category of intimate sibling relationships. I would put my sister and I in the apathetic sibling relationship. This scares me a little as well, the thought of loosing my mom, a best friend. I would expect that my sister and I's relationship would then takeover and pick up. But it is sad that my sister and I are on such a low level.
If I could ask the writers of this book for clarification I would ask about how relationships with siblings can change after the death of parents. Do they enhance (odd saying that) or are they slightly hindered if they aren't strong to begin with. This seemed like a little more of a journal write, but I think it is interesting how these types of subjects in our text always seem to hit home with many people in the class!
Karis, thanks for sharing your reflections on death. I am about 10 years older than you, and I struggle with similar thoughts. I am becoming increasingly comfortable with my own mortality, but it is a long and slow road. Your analogy of the flight or fight response was quite apt. I think our culture has begun to expect us to be in that anxious state all the time, which makes reflecting on deep and difficult issues like our death all the more difficult. I think part of the answer is defining your own definition of life success, rather than using the definitions suggested by society. For our culture is largely fearful of death, so its interpretation of success may not lead to a life well lived. And as for your questions about the loss of a parent, they are good ones. I lost my father at about you age. It was difficult; still is difficult. The things I reflect on often focus on our relationship. Did I know him well? Did I say I love you enough? Was he happy with our relationship? So all I can say from my own personal experience is embrace the time you have, it matters. And luckily, the loss of our father did draw my brothers and I closer together. It did not happen immediately, but it did happen. Thanks for sharing.
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