Week 8?

Letting go: Becoming Friends with your parents

I changed the title of the subject in the book because I think it is less of the parents allowing their children to be "friends" and more so the children allowing their parents to be their friends. I couldn't agree more with this chapter how there are still positive developments that can be make at this point. My parents and I were not exactly buddy buddy. Even after I left for college we weren't good friends. It wasn't until probably my sophomore year of college when my mom and I began accepting each other for who we were and being friends. Now, I think I talk to my mother more than I do any single other person other than my boyfriend, and even that at times it seams to surpass. My mother has become my best friend in a way. Someone I can always rely on and always be able to communicate what I am going through. That seems really great now but I wish I could of had that openness when I was younger and going through some serious identity issues.

Something I found a little entertaining is the discussion in this chapter on the distress of a child leaving home and entering into college or where ever they plan on going next. They stated in the book that many mothers report distress and negative mood when a child leaves the home but when the last child leaves only 25% of mothers and fathers report being very sad and unhappy. I laugh because I couldn't agree more! I was the last child so when my older sister left I too went to send her off to college. My mother cried and cried and cried the whole way. When I left she seemed to no think it a big deal. They did not discuss in the book possibilities of why there is this 25% not being upset. I think it could be (theory) that with the second children parents tend to be more lenient. This lenience may cause a child to be more adventure or get into more trouble. It may seem like a relief for the child to finally leave the house more than a sorrow. At least that is how I think it was for me. I was not a bad child but I definitely was not like my sister. Saying that sometimes I think that it has made my mom and I closer. When I got into trouble it forced my mother and father and I to discuss issues and discuss what was going on in my life. Since my sister never got in trouble I think that it is possible to say she doesn't have quite as close of a relationship.